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I looked through the glass.

The nurse pointed down at my child. The child's face was very red and it was screaming louder than any of the other children. The room was full of screaming babies. So many births! The nurse seemed very proud of my baby. At least, I hoped it was mine. She picked the girl up so I could see it better. I smiled through the glass, I didn't know how to act. The girl just screamed at me. Poor thing, I thought, poor little damned thing. I didn't know then that she would be a beautiful girl someday who would look just like me, hahaha.
I motioned the nurse to put the child down, then waved goodbye to both of them. She was a nice nurse. Good legs, good hips. Fair breasts.

Fay had a spot of blood on the left side of her mouth and I took a wet cloth and wiped it off. Women were meant to suffer; no wonder they asked for constant declarations of love.
"I wish they'd give me my baby," said Fay, "it's not right to separate us like this."
"I know. But I guess there's some medical reason."
"Yes, but it doesn't seem right."
"No it doesn't. But the child looked fine. I'll do what I can to make them send up the child as soon as possible. There must have been 40 babies down there. They're making all the mothers wait. I guess it's to let them get their strength back. Our baby looked very strong, I assure you. Please don't worry."
"I'd be so happy with my baby."
"I know, I know. It won't be long."
"Sir," a fat Mexican nurse walked up, "I'll have to ask you to leave now."
"But I'm the father."
"We know. But your wife must rest."
I squeezed Fay's hand, kissed her on the forehead. She closed her eyes and seemed to sleep then. She was not a young woman. Maybe she hadn't saved the world but she had made a major improvement.

Ring one up for Fay.

- Charles Bukowski

Publicerat klockan 22:48, den 3 juni 2010
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Postat i kategorin Betänkligheter och taggat som charles bukowski, post office,


Ja! Jag har nu officiellt hoppat av min företagsekonomiutbildning! Jag skulle nog vilja säga GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE. Frågan är vad man ska hitta på istället... Men det lutar åt att lära mig tyska och sticka till Berlin ett tag. Det är ju trots allt en underbar stad. Men medan detta sker måste jag ju, som alltid, ägna mig åt något mindre vuxet. Något riktigt åt skogen barnsligt. HM... Ska tänka på vad detta kan vara. Emellanåt ska jag ge er något man faktiskt kan tänka på:

And nothing was interesting, nothing. The people were restrictive and careful, all alike. And I've got to live with these fuckers for the rest of my life, I thought. God, they all had assholes and sexual organs and their mouths and their armpits. They shit and they chattered and they were dull as horse dung. The girls looked good from a distance, the sun shining through their dresses, their hair. But get up close and listen to their minds running out of their mouths, you felt like digging in under a hill and hiding out with a tommy-gun. I would certainly never be able to be happy, to get married, I could never have children. Hell, I couldn't even get a job as a dish-washer.

Maybe I'd be a bank robber. Some god-damned thing. Something with flare, fire. You only had one shot. Why be a window-washer?

I lit a cigarette and walked further down the hill. Was I the only person who was distracted by future without a chance?

- Charles Bukowski

Publicerat klockan 03:17, den 13 januari 2010
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Postat i kategorin Betänkligheter och taggat som charles bukowski, ham on rye,